ic contact (mask or menace)

[hackitude]

"Hey! You've reached Skye. Leave a message. I mean, if you want to. Or uh, don't. Whatever."

Comments

[corviform]

I don't see how...

[ But after momentary reluctance, he shuts his eyes. ]

[hackitude]

Just trust me, all right?

Pretend I'm her. I've just confessed to having feelings for you. You're... standing there feeling... whatever you were feeling in that moment.

[corviform]

[ He thinks back to that exact moment as best as he can, squirming in his seat as he remembers Kenzi's frustration, but worst of all, that look she gave him. The kind that pierces him with guilt.

It's a flurry of emotions. He can't figure out what he felt then other than confusion and from it, the panic that set in. His head spins again just thinking about it. ]

I... I don't know.

[ He sighs, opening his eyes. ]

I've never been good with things like this...

[hackitude]

[jfc Skye feels sorry for this poor girl]

... Well. I suppose... you don't need to understand how you feel right away. Feelings are very complex things! ... Maybe you just need to... sleep on it after all.

[corviform]

Maybe...

[ A part of him wants to know what on earth Kenzi sees in him to be romantically attracted in the first place. How many times has she almost seen that part of him he desperately tries not to fall into? ]

... I'm sorry for all the trouble.

[hackitude]

Hey, it's no trouble for me. I like hearing about this stuff.

... I'm sorry if I... pushed you too hard, or anything.

[corviform]

It's fine.

[ Well, not the questions about sexual compatibility, but he's not touching on that again. ]

This has never happened before. Well, it has, but not like this. [ Marriage proposals are hell. ] And we live together which complicates the matter...

[hackitude]

You're welcome to stay here as long as you want. Though... if you want my advice, I wouldn't take longer than a couple days to think about what you're gonna do.

[corviform]

I know, but... I don't know what to do at all.

[ He runs a hand through his hair, gripping the locks. ]

She said she wanted to... to date and k-kiss... hold hands...

[hackitude]

Well... since that seems to-- y'know, freak you out so much, maybe you should start with telling her that you need to take it a little slower than that?

[corviform]

N-No, you don't understand!

[ He raises both hands, waving them side to side. ]

I'm not... I can't do this! I'm just a lowly servant!

[hackitude]

What, are servants not allowed to court people or be happy in weirdo Victorian land?

[corviform]

It's difficult to explain, but... [ "My flesh and blood belongs to Oz." ] I am bound to my master.

And I'm not good enough for that.

[ Or her, he thinks. He's weak-willed and cowardly. Someone like Kenzi deserves better. Someone who will make her happy. He can't think of anything he can give her and he's certain it's not the lack of self-confidence colouring his opinion. ]

[hackitude]

I'm... pretty sure your master would understand. Happy servants are good servants! Or something.

And what do you mean "not good enough"?

[corviform]

[ Wouldn't Oz? Kind and understanding Oz, generous Oz... his master who told him from a young age to never address him by that title and to simply call him by name, like they were equals.

It's ridiculous. They will never be, but that's fine with him. As long as he has a place beside Oz, that's all that matters.

His temple prickles. He reaches up to rub it gently. ]

I can't break my promises.

[ He takes a deep breath. ]

I'm... [ He hesitates. ] I'm not... a strong person. I don't know anything about relationships or... or anything like that. I've only upset Kenzi.

... and she was engaged. There's already someone for her.

[ He doesn't know actually. Hale died, then Kenzi. Does she not love him anymore? ]

[hackitude]

Nobody ever knows anything about relationships when they first start out. But... you find out. By being with someone. It's like saying you're no good at piano because you've never played it. Like... duh? Practice makes perfect.

... I don't know about the other stuff, though. About... whatever promises you've made or... your friend's fiancee. That sounds like stuff you need to work out with them.

[corviform]

You think I should accept her confession?

[ He's heard similar before. Nelson used to encourage him and Sharon had teased, but he always took it as just that. Sharon of all people knew he couldn't just drop everything in favour of a relationship.

His head is starting to hurt and he groans quietly. ]

I don't... I can't do that to Oz.

[ It's easier to assume the worst of his actions and assume he's being selfish, therefore failing his duties as a servant. Isn't it selfish to put his happiness before his master's? ]

... sorry, I think I'm tired.

[hackitude]

No, I think... I think that's a decision you have to make on your own.

[Skye reaches out and squeezes Gil's hand briefly before letting go.]

Go on, get some rest. You look beat.

[corviform]

[ He's taken aback by the gesture, though as soon as she's removed her hand he realizes he appreciated it. ]

... alright. I can sleep on the couch. I only need a few hours before work.

[ How is he going to get back into his apartment? He's afraid breaking a window may be necessary.

He shifts, looking pensive for a few seconds. ]

... what is it supposed to feel like?

[hackitude]

[Skye finishes her tea, draining the mug before putting it back on the table.]

... What?

[corviform]

Feelings... for someone... have you ever...?

[ He trails off quickly and then shakes his head. ]

I'm sorry, that was invasive.

[hackitude]

What? No, no, it's cool. I don't mind answering that.

[She looks down at the table, though.]

I mean. Yeah, I've had feelings for people before. Tons of times. But I mean-- I don't know if it's the same? You seem to be more of a... mates-for-life... kinda guy. Me, I just... I don't know. I like to live in the moment. My philosophy kinda tends to be... if it feels good, do it. If it doesn't, stop. I've burned through a whole... bunch of boyfriends that way. Looking for the right person. So... I don't know if that's a question I'm really qualified to answer. That's all.

[corviform]

I don't know if I'm that kind of person.

[ Settling down would be nice, but how can he given the situation back home? What about Oz? ]

... I'm sorry.

[hackitude]

Well, you'll never know if you don't try.

But-- um, it's fine. Don't be sorry. I mean-- I don't think I'm at the right point in my life right now to do relationships properly anyway. I just wanna have fun, you know?

[corviform]

It seems... common in this time. [ A beat. ] "If it feels good"...

[ Is that all that matters? Just as long as it feels right? He hasn't an idea what to feel. ]

Still, it sounds [ like a lot of heartache ] frustrating.

[ A beat. ]

I think you would make someone happy. Whenever you find them.