ic contact (mask or menace)

[hackitude]

"Hey! You've reached Skye. Leave a message. I mean, if you want to. Or uh, don't. Whatever."

Comments

[infomodder]

Tell younger-you she's welcome from some old not really cool dude who loooooooves dogs she'll meet in some sort of alternate dimension involving hover cars and superpowers and all sorts of nonsensical shit.

Or crap, depending on younger-you's thoughts on such bad language.

Not a bad goal. I know someone back home who was a gourmet. Enjoyed cooking, too. Get someone who enjoys cooking, you're set. Even if they're not a gourmet. Just make sure they're good.

[hackitude]

Are you kidding? Pretty sure younger-me could have set a world record for dropping the f-bomb. I was a pretty angry teenager. Like. Even *for a teenager*.

A gourmet? Are you serious? Geez. Where can I get me one of those. Old Man G-Dog's got game after all!

[infomodder]

I don't know what the f-bomb is. Is that like the a-bomb? Are you a terrorist? Waiting to drop your bombs here, too? Let me know when you're gonna fuck up Heropa so I can move to De Chima, please.

Maybe you could go to some five-star restaurant and get friendly with the waitstaff, meet one of the chefs, and go from there. Not sure they use dating sites. Instachef?

That makes me sound like an aftershave/deodorant.

[hackitude]

I'm such a terrorist. You don't even know.

[Skye has a little laugh to herself about that one, because in fact SHIELD has now been classified as a terrorist organisation by the US government back home. So she is, in fact, a terrorist according to them. Ha ha ha. So funny.]

No fucking up big cities though. That's not my style.

And you laugh, but that's actually not a completely terrible plan. You watch. I'm gonna do that now.

[infomodder]

Of course I don't know. People can say they're just about anything and unless can prove otherwise, what choice is there but to believe them or be declared paranoid?

[o p t i m i s m]

Just fuck up the little towns where people work hard to make ends meet and the diner is open late for locals. Got it.

Good luck with that.

[hackitude]

Please. Like I would take out innocent civilians. Should I be offended, Mr. G?

And hey, thanks. When I'm married to some great chef I'll invite you over for dinner and you can be super jealous.

[infomodder]

"innocent"

I don't think that's a good idea. Tasted gourmet food, what if his isn't up to par and he knows just by looking at my face? Awkward.

[hackitude]

Ok bad word choice. Un-involved?

Omg Mr G. In this extremely silly hypothetical scenario, as if I would marry some *second rate* gourmet.

[infomodder]

That's better.

You'd have to shop around, wouldn't you? Date a bunch of gourmets to know who's best. Then you end up with an overweight guy because the better he cooks, the more he wants to eat. Sign of a good chef, I was always told.

[Because he was in Mississippi, duh.]

[hackitude]

Yeah, maybe if he's southern. My last boyf was from Texas. I am *not* doing that again. Besides, summers in Texas are the WORST!

[infomodder]

Haven't you ever heard about Southern gentlemen? They can be great catches.
You're talking to one. Southern part is accurate. Not the rest.

[He's not really a gentleman, doesn't have enough time with people to use that as a descriptor. There's also the fact of the matter that his mouth can be a foul filthy thing.]

[hackitude]

Awww. You're being harsh on yourself. You're plenty gentleman-like! When you want to be.

[infomodder]

[Is he? Is he really? Hard to think of himself as that when his job is what it is and he's going away for murdering young women and eating some of them. Difficult to really reconcile everything in his life and how that relates to being gentle.]

I would think a real gentleman was always a gentleman, not just when he wanted to be. Does that really count?

[hackitude]

... Well, we're all works in progress.

[infomodder]

Better. I'll drink to that, no problem.

[hackitude]

Good.

... It's nice to see you joking around like this, Mr. G.

[infomodder]

Who's joking? I like a drink. Hold my drink well. I'll drink to just about anything if I don't have to drive and got something to drink.

[hackitude]

I meant more the whole conversation, but that's... good to know, you... burgeoning alcoholic, you.

[infomodder]

Old guys have a sense of humor, too. You learned something new today. I'll try to stay away from the dark side that is alcoholism. Keep it in the house, you know.

[hackitude]

I know. Just... you always seemed so, idk, serious. Before.

[infomodder]

People can seem like lots of things without actually being them. I'm glad I just seemed idk serious before as opposed to something worse.

[Like a cannibalistic serial killer worse.]

[hackitude]

Worse? Like what?

[infomodder]

Like everything I just told you I've been accused of.

[hackitude]

Okay, but why would I have cause to think you seemed like that before you told me? I mean. No offense or anything, but you're not exactly the kind of guy whose personality really fits the bill of "sociopathic serial killer." Anyone with half a brain can see that. For starters, you like dogs WAY too much.

[infomodder]

See, that's what makes it so much worse. When the people you think don't fit are the worst. That's why you have to stop thinking in boxes about who can be that level of dangerous and who can't.
Even if they like dogs a lot.