hackitude | ic contact (mask or menace)

["I'll cook up something special" is not what a guy accused of cannibalism says to someone who knows as much.]

I'll have to spend extra time on it. Plaid? Stupid fishing hats? I don't get teased back home. I don't talk to many people. It's all really strange for me, having to interact with people in ways that don't relate to other people having died.

Uh. ... That sounds kind of sad, Mr. G.

Does it? The job's not always great, but I'm content to be away from people as much as I can. I get the feeling you haven't spent a full 24 hours away from the Internet in some form or another in a long time. That about right?

I like the internet. They get me.

I like people in real life too, I just... never really got a chance to make friends in school. ... I moved around a lot. So... the internet became my friendship group instead. Internet friends don't care if you move.

[...not what he was expecting.]

Me either. By the time everyone got tired of making Teddy Graham/Graham Cracker jokes, it was off to another school to start the whole thing over again. Didn't have the Internet then. Wouldn't be able to keep up, no point in trying to make friends. I'd be at another school in a year or two. No email, no im, whatever. No cell phones, either. You ever watch an "old" movie where the cell phones are like bricks? Don't look like anything on the market now? We didn't even have that. There was more plaid back then, too. Seems it's gone out of style.

Wow, excuse you. Have you met me? I live for plaid.

... But man, that sounds like a total suck-fest. And not in the good way. I don't know what I would've done without the internet growing up. I was messed up enough as a teenager as it was.

I'll have to recreate my collection here and we can compare. I don't know anyone who wasn't messed up as a teenager. Rich, poor, two parents, one parent, no parents, everyone had their problems. Actually ended up feeling bad for some of the richer kids when I got older. No one asked me to do drugs with them because I didn't have money, not because I wasn't sociable. These kids who've got huge allowances are getting hit up left and right because they DID have the money. No one cared about them, they just wanted profit. Hell, I'd love to have some money, but I'd hate to deal with that. Seemed to come part and parcel with it. Being a teenager is a suck-fest for everyone. If I ever met anyone who said they had a happy, perfect life ages 13-19 I wouldn't think they were human.

[There's a pause on Skye's end while she mulls that one over for a few.]

... Sad. But true.

Edited 2014-06-07 17:29 (UTC)

[Of course now that they're here maybe there is a species of something out there that does, in fact, look upon their teenage years (eons?) with great fondness.]

Seems we started at sad truths and ended right back at them. Just thought I should actually holler like I said I would.

[How does anyone say goodbye in a situation like this though.

And also not sound 7500 years old.]

... Yeah. ... Thanks.

... You're an okay dude, Mr. G.

[Wait, he thought he was cool. Now he's okay? Shit. He messed this one up.

...by going to jail for killing and cannibalism. Actually, that messed just about everything up.]

You're welcome. If you need anything you know where to find me. Or, if you don't, you can probably just hack something somewhere and figure it out. So you know, if you need to, you can just ask. Don't have to sniff me out. I'll answer.

He says like I haven't already looked up where he lives like days ago.

All you had to do was ask! I'm disadvantaged here without the FBI database. I buy everything with cash, so I don't have to worry about you tracking my purchases. I have that going for me.

I bet it's all like, fishing gear, dog food and classical music anyway.

[RUDE. Implying his classic rock is classical, he gets that. He's not that old!]

And food for myself. That's about it.

Yeah? Are you a good cook?

[He is...not sure if this is teasing or mockery; confess to being tried for cannibalism, later asked if he can cook. Maybe it's just the conversation flowing along, but he's still imagining frying things that shouldn't be fried.]

I'm good with fish. Collards. Some beans and peas. Some breakfast foods. Chicken and dumplings aren't so bad, either. Nothing fancy. Where I live in my world is rather isolated. Can't order out a lot and I grew up with certain kinds of food, so why not learn a couple of recipes? Though I did figure out the perfect way to cook that oatmeal with the dinosaurs in it. That's gourmet-level culinary skills. You cook?

[Teasing. Always teasing, where Skye's concerned. It's how she communicates.]

Just bachelor chow mostly. My ex tried to teach me but I always figured why bother when he was so much better at it than me? And then I was living in a van, so... makes it kinda hard to cook.

["I don't eat anything with ears" was too much to say. Her not mentioning food in regards to his...accusations...must be teasing!]

You bother so when you break up, you take away more than potentially bad memories and your belongings. Get rid of him but keep the ability to cook more than you could before. [What he doesn't know: he'll do something similar later on. Just not with his ex-...romantic significant other.] You have housemates, don't you? Maybe some of them know how to cook and could teach you a few things. Eggs aren't difficult. You can always learn a few basics and work up from there.

What are you, my dad now? ... I can do eggs.

[Sort of.]

I just... don't like cooking for one. It always just seems like such a hassle. All that time prepping, and cooking... and then you're eating alone anyway, there's no one there to enjoy it with you or talk over dinner with. And then you've gotta clean up by yourself too.

I'M 38 I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR DAD

[Or qualified enough. Last time he was someone's "dad" that uh well that went really badly he'd rather NOT]

Then make enough for a few days, if you have to eat alone. You shouldn't have to do that here, though, should you? Gotta be someone where you're at that's tolerable enough to eat a meal or two a day with. My dogs always helped me clean.

Wow, Mr. G. That was a uh. Very strong reaction to what was almost definitely teasing.

... I haven't really uh... spoken much? With my housemates? It's getting kinda awkward.

No that would be: I'M 38 I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I waited til I couldn't see anyone before I went into my house my first day. Didn't speak to anyone for a while or even leave my room until I had to. Meeting new people is awkward but it's better sooner rather than later. Unless you just move elsewhere, but then you'll have to deal with more people. In government housing. You can move out of it but then you lose benefits.

You're not crash hot on the whole dad thing, huh? Don't picture yourself having kids?

[She's just going to... not... touch... the second and third paragraphs. Maybe if she ignores it it'll go away.]

I'd have to retire properly first. Find someone to settle down with. Must love dogs. Probably be better being a stepfather than anything else.

[Oh, what the future holds. He realizes her getting the hell away from the last topic, notes it for later.

Retire properly meaning not being forced into retirement because of being a cannibalistic serial killer, of course.]

You want kids?

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